I’m bi and not out. A week ago, I went to a locksmith in the mall to cut keys. Whilst waiting for them, a cute girl was in line to organize her keys. There were a few other people around but everyone was just in their own world because it was sort of a long wait. I noticed her immediately and I was discreetly checking her out whilst she was on the phone and looking in her bag etc… Minutes later, we were right next to each other and facing each other as she was still in line and I was waiting next to the line. Soon after I had stopped checking her out and I don’t think she saw me doing it, she was observing me intently but with a warm look on her face. When she saw look back at her and half smile, she didn’t look away and continued looking me straight in the eyes with a half smile too and a somewhat embarrassed look on her face. I think that it was mutual attraction and my gaydar went off though initially I thought her to be straight cuz she is femme.
Anyway, last night I was browsing an online dating site, I saw her pic up and her profile said that she is interested in women. I was very excited by that….my intuition was right on about her. But the dating site doesn’t allow much connecting between users without payment (one cannot even send a msg without paying) and I can’t pay for their ‘extra’ services at this time. And apparently she doesn’t log in often to it, according to the last login date on her profile. However, I saw her on facebook as well and I want to connect with her there.
Should I just add her as a friend with no msg OR should I her msg saying that I saw her on the online dating site and ask if she remembers me from the mall by the locksmith? We didn’t actually meet but there was definitely some extended eye contact and some sort of mutual interest then. She definitely wouldn’t know me by name and I look a little different in my profile pic from how I looked in person last wk. What info should I include or leave out? What do you think?
btw…. the online dating site I saw her on is overtly connected to facebook…..so it let me know immediately that her user name is the same as her facebook name. On fb, she has put that she is interested in women so i guess she is out…
I don’t have my profiles linked between facebook and the dating site as she does though…
Steve
July 16, 2010 at 5:45 am
For God’s sake, KEEP IT IN THE CLOSET!! Homosexuality is shameful for a reason–IT ISN’T NATURAL!!
Jared
July 16, 2010 at 6:44 am
I say message her first. Then if she doesn’t like you, you don’t have ot go through the trouble of removing her.
jacarig
July 16, 2010 at 7:05 am
Well before you add her as a friend, definitely send her a message. I personally hate when people friend request me without a message especially when I don’t know him/her. So I would send her a message saying pretty much what you just told us. That you saw her in the mall one day and she really caught your attention. There is no need to mention that you saw her on a dating sight as of yet. Just say she popped up as one of your “suggested friends” on Facebook. Send that message and take it from there. This way you won’t come off as creepy, just interested. I know that I would personally be flattered if someone actually remembered me from a store and then wanted to add me on facebook. It shows that I definitely held their attention. Well that’s just my 0.02…good luck!
Yemyem
July 16, 2010 at 7:30 am
WoW, such a interesting situation you are in. luv it :p
So, dear, I think you should first text her PM on FB, but not directly asking her out or about seeing her online dating web-page. I think, you should write like this:
“Hey, how are ya? I just was surfing thru the Facebook, and saw ya pic here, and decided to get connected with you. You know, there are people that sometimes you feel to talk to them just for a minute, something force you from inside, but you can’t or something holding you back. And that time, it felt this way, and couldn’t talk, so let’s talk here on Facebook”
I dunno, you can add or change something here, but I don’ think that you should write about your gaydar exactness
))))
Hope, you’ll find your soulmate
p.s. lemme know further embarrassments, if you have